it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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