ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
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