you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize