I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
