Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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