better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
