Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
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