People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
