At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
My breasts were aching with rage.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
