I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
