your parents love me but you hate me
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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