u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
