Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
