It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
