I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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