I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
He passed out mid-signature
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
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