Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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