is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
We are all done wearing pants today
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
