Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize