I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize