Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Small penises have feelings too.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
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