There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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