i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize