oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Randomize