You really coming over, don't trick.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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