I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
