Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
now i know why i became what i already was.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
