i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
