I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Ambien. No doubt about it.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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