so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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