i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
We got so high we made milksteak
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
