no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
