just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
