U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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