the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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