Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
