Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Randomize
