How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Randomize