i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
