nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
