I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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