I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
