Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
