dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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