i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize