On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I just threw up on my dentist
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
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