whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
