no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize