everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Randomize
