i think my tv is drunk
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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