She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
