You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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