Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
