ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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