It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
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