Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
