Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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