i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
