I'm really into asian looking animals
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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