i always forget guys have bellybuttons
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
