my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
