he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Randomize
