i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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