Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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