Got a toothbrush?
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
