Pregnant stripper...not hot.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Randomize
