it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
