tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Randomize
