he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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