she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Still dying that you shit outside
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
