Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
i think my mom watched the whole time
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Randomize
