i think i recognize dicks better than faces
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize