I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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