i wish there were pregnant emoticons
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
