the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Randomize
