help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
