ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
