this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
